The Schwong keeps tabs on it's members through the National Organization of Schwong Enlightenment, a nationwide organization dedicated to enlightening heathens to the wisdom of the Schwong through conversion to Schwongism and the therein implied monetary compensation from the convert.

The National Organization of Schwong Enlightenment is actively seeking new disciples to expand our numbers and further our creative interpretations of the IRS tax code.  If you or anyone you know is interested in becoming a member of the religion of Schwong, please send a check or money order in a self addressed, stamped envelope to:

SACRED ORDER OF THE SCHWONG
C/O WILLIAM JEFFERSON "STINKY" CLINTON
1600 PENNSYLVANIA AVENUE
WASHINGTON, D.C.

Please make the check out to the National Organization of Schwong Enlightenment for $12.95 plus shipping and handling.  Draw a picture of yourself on the outside of the envelope in red crayon and label it with the word "me" and an arrow pointing to your head.  If possible, use blood instead of crayon for increased effect.

The people at the above address will be happy to express-ship to you the lovely application kit described below and will reward humorously-worded death threats with candy.

The application kit consists of a paper for you to sign in which your acknowledge your complete devotion to the Schwong and The Schwong, a small multipurpose ceremonial Schwongish symbol which you can use to ward off evil, maintain a state of inner Schwongness, and gesture angrily at other drivers on the interstate, and a do-it-yourself Mineral-Enriched Holy Water Blessing Bottle for you to bless yourself and others.*

*For a small fee, we will refrain from filling the Blessing Bottle with hydrochloric acid.